


actually, i wanted to be an astronaut

by BookLover86



Category: Danny Phantom
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Blood and Gore, Heavy Angst, Like, Major Character Injury, it goes from 0 to 100 real quick, it's basically entirely angst, maybe like .02 seconds of happiness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-29
Updated: 2017-06-29
Packaged: 2018-11-21 04:24:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,113
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11349801
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BookLover86/pseuds/BookLover86
Summary: “I amnota hero. I’m a mistake, a lab experiment that no-nobody commissioned. I’m a mutant…a coward. I’m a fuckingmonster. Don’t look up to me…I don’t de-deserve that.” Danny hissed in pain and coughed, hacking up more blood than anyone thought was healthy. “Look…I never wanted to become this. If you ever thought that I wanted to be what I am, you’re wrong. Actually, I wanted to be an astronaut. But…I guess I j-just…ended up as a disappointment.”





	actually, i wanted to be an astronaut

**Author's Note:**

> DISCLAIMER: I do not claim ownership of any canon characters, settings, etc. 
> 
> If you really wanna get into the feel of the story, then I suggest you listen to "Teen Idle" by Marina and The Diamonds and "Unbecoming” by Starset. If you listen to them before you read the story, it will give you a good idea of what themes the story is going to hold.

\-----

    “Hello class,” the perky kindergarten teacher greeted. “Since it’s the first day of school, we need to get to know each other. So, we’re gonna go around and say our names, and what we want to be when we grow up. I’ll go first. I am Mrs. Rivard, and when I was your age, I wanted to be a ballerina. Who wants to go next?” 

    An African-American girl with thick hair raised her hand. “My name is Valerie, and I want to be a singer when I grow up.” 

    “Very nice! Now, Valerie, please choose someone to go next.” 

    A thin blonde boy with wide eyes raised his hand high in the air, waving it around. “Oh, oh, me!” Valerie pointed at him. “My name is Dash, and I wanna be a pro football player.” 

    Dash then nudged the kid he was sitting next to--a boy with Asian features and a shy smile--motioning for him to speak. “Um, I’m Kwan, and…and I want to be a…” the boy paused, his eyes narrowed in concentration, “…a vet-er-in-ar-i-an.” Afterwards, Kwan puffed his chest out, proud that he had remembered the word, even though half of his classmates had no idea what that word meant. 

    Next was a Hispanic girl with sparkling eyes. “I’m Paulina Sanchez, and I’m going to become a model.” 

    There was absolutely no hesitancy in her words, greatly differing from the small redhead boy who spoke after her in an extremely quiet voice. “I’m Nathan, and I wanna be a firefighter.” 

    Next was a girl with absurdly long blonde hair. “My name is Star, and I wanna become an actress.” 

    Mary smiled at her students. Man, was she glad that she didn’t actually become a ballerina. That job would’ve been boring to no ends. As she listened to them continue, she categorized their names and faces in her mind. Weirdly tall Johnny wanted to be an actor; another redheaded boy--this one with so many freckles, Mary wasn’t sure what color his skin was--was named Mikey, and he wanted to be a pilot; a plump brunette with rosy cheeks was named Natalie, and she wanted to be a biochemical engineer. That was a new one. 

    There were only three kids left to say their names and aspirations, and they were all sitting together in one clump as if they were littermates, or something like that. However, the only factor each of them shared was the fact that they all had black hair. 

    There was two boys and one girl. One of the boys was African-American, and the other one was so pale, Mary would’ve thought he never spent any time outside. The girl was dressed in a, frankly, gaudy pink dress, and she didn’t look all that happy about wearing it. The African-American boy wore glasses and a turtleneck, which Mary found a bit odd. The other boy was simply wearing shorts and an orange t-shirt, but his head was tilted down so no one could see his face. 

    Natalie pointed at the girl to speak next, obviously, and the girl scowled a tiny bit. Mary raised an eyebrow. She’d never seen such a displeased five-year-old, and it was disconcerting. “Well, I’m Sam, and, I wanna be a chef, I guess.” 

    Sam then lightly punched the African-American boy, who just stuck his tongue out back at her. “My name is Tucker Foley, and, one day, I’m just gonna play video games for money.” 

    Mary laughed. It certainly wasn’t the first time she’d heard a kid say that for their future profession. “Do you know what that job is called, Tucker?” 

    He shot her a look that clearly said,  _ Duh.  _ “Of  _ course _ I do. It’s called being a YouTuber.” 

    Well, he wasn’t wrong. 

    Mary shook her head, choosing not to respond. “Okay then. Who’s next?” 

    Tucker tapped Danny’s shoulder, which made the small boy finally look up. Mary was struck by how pure and innocent he looked. Sure, one might expect all kindergarteners to look innocent, but this boy looked as if he had just come out of the womb yesterday, and he was trying to learn what it meant to live. His large blue eyes basically made up half of his face and were slightly tilted, as if he was about to cry. Everything about him made Mary want to lock him in a room and never let him see how awful the world truly was. 

    When the boy finally did speak, his voice was soft and fleeting. “My name is Danny, and, I want to be an astronaut.” Mary had certainly heard that one before as well, but, somehow, she knew in her heart that Danny might be the one to actually make his dream come true. 

    Mary clapped her hands together to gather the attention of her students. This was going to be a good year. There was so much personality in all of her students, and she couldn’t wait to see what they grew up to do in the future. She was positive that every single one of these kids were going to do amazing things. 

\-----

    When Danny had taken Art as his elective during his eighth grade year, he didn’t expect to enjoy it as much as he did. He’d taken it to fill in a spot in his schedule, as nothing else appealed to him. The only other reason he chose Art, was because Sam was in it. Danny loved Tucker to death, but he did  _ not  _ want to go through  _ another _ technology class. 

    Not when the teacher was a literal witch (Sam preferred to call her something that rhymed with "witch"). 

    So, he had chosen Art, which seemed like a safe choice. He just thought that he was going to tolerate it, but he surprised himself by how much fun it was to draw and paint and sculpt. Having one of his best friends with him was always a plus, but Danny was truly enjoying the material and learning about the different styles of Art. 

    Another thing he really enjoyed, was being able to freely draw as many spaceships and planets as he wanted without getting weird looks from people. Before, whenever he would draw those types of things, all it would illicit was bullying from Dash or taunts from another kid. However, in art, those types of drawings were actually  _ encouraged _ . It was amazing.

    Their final project for that semester was to make a canvas painting of what the phrase “Idealistic Future” meant to them. 

    Sam went for a dark world where everyone smiled softly and embraced death like an old friend. She titled it, “Embracing Shadows”. It was, by far, the most beautiful and most sobering painting Danny had ever seen. 

    By comparison, Danny went for a bright and colorful solar system with hundreds of shuttles and spaceships zooming about. Nothing looked normal, and Sam joked that Danny had been on crack when he’d chosen all the coloring, but nothing made Danny happier than looking at his painting. He’d titled his own painting, “The Final Frontier”. 

    The name alone made Sam and Tucker laugh for five minutes straight. 

    When he presented his painting, his teacher looked genuinely impressed. Danny puffed his chest out. “This is amazing, Danny. May I ask what inspired this painting?” 

    “Ever since I was a kid, I've wanted to become an astronaut. I’m a bit obsessed with space, as you can tell. I’m even gonna enroll in an astronomy class at the college in a few months,” Danny explained, looking at his painting fondly. 

    His teacher hummed. “I see. Well, if your skills in painting are anything like your skills in a shuttle, then you’ll make a fabulous astronaut. Just be sure not to lose your focus, okay?” 

    Danny nodded fervently. Nothing short of a life-changing disaster would make him shift his gaze from the future of being an astronaut. 

    However, he had no idea that a life-changing disaster was exactly what was about to come upon him. 

\-----

    Jeffrey Lancer was extremely excited for the upcoming Fenton, as it meant another scientifically brilliant mind to grace the school. Sure, Maddie and Jack weren’t all that… _ sane _ , but their daughter, Jasmine, was truly a genius. 

    Now, her younger brother was starting his freshman year, and it made Jeffrey positively giddy. His expectations changed quite a bit when he actually met the boy, however. 

    He’d expected a confident, smart kid with a level head on his shoulders. 

    What he actually got, was a bashful, smart kid who hung out with a techno-geek boy and a goth girl. True, Tucker Foley and Samantha Manson weren’t bad kids, and the trio’s friendship was refreshing in this age of cliques, but Jeffrey had expected more. 

    Daniel didn’t let him down when it came to his brain, though. All of his students were intelligent in their rights, but they  _ paled _ in comparison with Daniel. The youngest Fenton was easily raking in 100% after 100%, no matter what he was faced with. It was gratifying to grade his papers after grading the paper of someone like Dash.

    However, for some reason, about three months into the school year, Daniel’s perfect report card began to gain some blemishes. Sure, the poor kid had been in a horrendous accident the week before and was still recovering, but it didn’t explain the countless absences and late homework that always barely scored above an 70%. Jeffrey was so baffled by this, that he called Daniel in during lunch one day. 

    “Daniel, what do you want to do when you graduate?” he had asked. It seemed like a safe question to start off with. 

    Daniel’s eyes lit up with excitement. “Well, I really wanna become an astronaut. I’ve been taking classes at the community college and at online colleges since last year. Just easy stuff, like astronomy or Intro to Astrophysics. I honestly don’t know what I gotta do to get there, so might as well take everything anyways.” 

    Jeffrey felt his eyebrows launch into his forehead region. This kid was taking Intro to Astrophysics as an  _ eighth grader _ , but he was now struggling to maintain a B average in all of his classes. 

    “That’s incredible. I truly believe that you could easily be an astronaut, or even a rocket scientist.” Daniel was practically bubbling with excitement because of what seemed to be his favorite topic, and Jeffrey  _ hated _ to burst his bubble. “However, with your current grades and attendance schedule, this dream will be next to impossible.” And just like that, Daniel had deflated, slumped in his chair with a pained expression on his face. “I don’t want to see you give up on this. You could fly among the stars, if you only start caring a little more about your grades in the here and now.” 

    Daniel nodded, but he looked reluctant about it. “I want to--trust me, I  _ really  _ want to--but there’s some stuff happening right now, and I kinda gotta take care of it right now.” 

    Jeffrey frowned. “What sort of stuff?” 

    Daniel looked away, and Jeffrey could practically  _ see _ him putting up a wall in his mind. “I can’t tell you. I’m sorry.” 

    Jeffrey sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose. “Very well then. You may go to lunch.” Daniel practically scrambled out of the classroom, leaving a very confused English teacher behind. 

    No matter what happened, Jeffrey did not want to see Daniel go down a path he would regret in the end. That kid was  _ way _ too bright to throw his life away, even if he didn’t see it at the current time.

\-----

    The second Danny stepped foot through the front door of his house, he knew something was up. For one, his parents were waiting for him, and they did  _ not  _ look happy. Danny groaned internally, but silently subjected himself to the torture that was going to be a lecture from his parents. 

    “Danny, we need to talk to you,” his dad started off. Danny shrugged off his backpack, holding back a wince as his shoulder screamed at him for the movement. 

    During his latest fight with Skulker, the latter had thrown him in a wall, which seriously fucked up his shoulder and back. He was just lucky that he hadn’t had to bandage any serious wounds this time. It was getting ridiculous, how many times he had to wear long-sleeved shirts and jeans so no one would ask any questions. 

    On the plus side, he was getting very,  _ very _ good at applying makeup to cover up certain things, like bruises or small cuts. Or maybe that wasn’t such a good thing. Danny couldn’t tell anymore. “Yeah, sure. What’s up?” 

    His mom held up a sheet of paper with a bunch of tiny numbers printed on it. This time, Danny did wince. Shit. “My report card? That came in already?” 

    His dad narrowed his eyes. “Yes, it did.” 

    Danny straightened his back, internally cringing at how many times his spine cracked in protest. He was gonna be an old man by the time he was twenty if this continued. “Okay, so?” 

    His mom frowned at him, anger radiating off of her in waves. “Daniel, what happened to you? You were getting straight A’s, you were taking extra credit classes at the college. You were on your way to becoming a true astronaut! You were going to become a household name; you were going to do  _ great  _ things. Now look at this!” 

    She shoved the report card in his face, but Danny didn’t need to see it to know what was on it. He was holding steady D-’s in three of his classes, shaky C’s in two of them, a proud C+ in one of them, and he was outright failing the last one. Not exactly grades you wanna bring home and show your parents. “These grades are  _ disgusting _ , Daniel.” 

    “I know, mom,” he murmured, wanting this conversation to be over. “Then why are they still like this? Why did you give up that perfect future you had in store?” 

    Danny averted his gaze to his shoes. There was blood-stains on his laces. “It’s not like I wanted to.” 

    “Then why did you, Danny-boy? We used to be so proud of you.” His dad let his sentence trail off, but Danny knew what he meant. He knew what the last part of that sentence was. 

    “And now it disgusts you to look at me,” Danny finished. Neither of his parents disagreed with him. Danny let out a dry laugh, finally looking at his parents’ faces. “Well, guess what: it disgusts me too. It disgusts me to look in the mirror and see what I’ve become. I hate taking tests, because I know that it’ll be another point in the failure column. I despise coming home, because I know what waits for me: inventor parents, a perfect sister. No room for mistakes, is there? So why am I still around?” 

    With that, Danny shoved past his parents and headed for his room. He didn’t let them respond. He didn’t have to. He already knew how he looked to them. He was the anomaly in the Fenton family, but they had  _ no  _ idea how different he truly was. 

    For starters, they were all alive while he was dead. Half-dead, technically, but did technicalities really matter when he was a monster? Sam and Tucker would argue that he was still human, but Danny knew what he really was. 

    He was a mistake that was never meant to escape.

\-----

    Shelbi Hollis loved her job as a high-school counselor. She loved being able to help kids find and achieve their dreams. It wasn’t so much fun to tell some of those students that they couldn’t make their dreams come true, but it wasn’t as bad as trying to get a student to care about school again, after they’d stopped. 

    Daniel “Danny” Fenton was one of those students. He had come from a very intelligent family, and he was the same, but, for some reason, his grades began to severely drop after a few months into his freshman year, and they’d stayed that way for now two years. Danny was a junior now, but his grades were even worse, if that was possible. 

    Shelbi was  _ not _ looking forward to talking to him about college, but it seems like the cards were not in her favor as said junior was now sitting in her office, looking very bored. He was wearing heavy jeans and a long-sleeved shirt, which she raised her eyebrows at. It was a weird outfit to wear during spring, especially since it was one of the hottest springs that Amity Park’s seen in years. 

    Shelbi had no idea how to approach the standoffish boy, so she decided to approach from afar. “So, Danny, I assume you know what we’re here to talk about?” That was a good, safe starter. 

    Danny rolled his eyes. “Duh. College’s coming up next year, and the fact that I’ll be lucky to get into any sort of college with my shitty grades.” 

    Shelbi frowned. “Language, but you’re not wrong. Your grades have dropped exponentially, but I don’t know why. You’re a smart kid. You could do a lot more than you are.” 

    “I know. I already get this lecture from my parents. Look, I  _ know _ that I’m throwing my life down the drain, but I didn’t exactly get a fucking choice about whether or not I wanted to.” 

    “Language. And, you always get a choice. You can choose to turn your life around for the better.” 

    “The second I do that, something will come and bite me in the ass.” 

    “Language, Danny.” 

    Danny scoffed, shoving his hands into the pockets of his jeans. “My fucking language is the last damn problem I’ve got to deal with.” 

    Shelbi frowned, narrowing her eyes in annoyance. This boy was getting on her last nerves. It was time to pull out the bad-cop routine. “ _ Language,  _ Daniel. This is the last time I’m going to say it.” She shuffled around some papers on her desk, glancing at some of them. One of the recurring themes that Danny held was the fact that he’s always wanted to be an astronaut.

     If Danny was going to play dirty, then Shelbi might as well. She was pulling out all the big guns. “You know, you could’ve become an astronaut, or even a  _ rocket scientist _ at the very least.” That got Danny to flinch, which made Shelbi smile. She was on the right track. “You’re incredibly intelligent, just like the rest of your family, and you were going to do great things. Now, with your grades, you’ll be lucky if you can graduate. Even if you do, you’re probably gonna end up in fast food for the rest of your life. Is this what you want?” 

    Danny scowled, looking away from her. “Of course not. How can you think that this is what I ever wanted for my life?”

     Shelbi leaned back in her seat, crossing her arms.“If it’s not, why don’t you change it? You can be better than you are. You just need to believe in yourself.” 

    Danny laughed humorlessly, as if he found the entire situation needless and boring. He probably did. “I need to believe in myself? Are you serious?” 

    Shelbi pursed her lips. “Yes. Right now, you lack motivation, and you can turn your life around with that, but, currently, all you are is a spoiled child who is too lazy to prioritize for his future.” 

    Danny suddenly stood up, his chair clattering as if fell over. He slammed his hands down on Shelbi’s desk and stared straight into her eyes. “You’re a fucking idiot if you think I’m spoiled and lazy. Lazy kids don’t get an average of two hours of sleep  _ every night _ . Spoiled kids don’t teach themselves how to correctly stitch up a wound because they can’t risk their parents finding out about what they’ve been doing behind their backs. As for my supposed lack of motivation, I guess my will to continue living isn’t enough for you, huh? Why would you care, though? You’re just the school counselor. You get paid to tell us that our futures are going down the drain, so why would you care if one kid is killing himself to save this fucking town?” 

    Shelbi had  _ no  _ idea what he was talking about, and he was also seriously scaring her. Who knew high-schoolers could be this terrifying? “La-language, Daniel.” 

    Danny snarled--literally barred his teeth like an animal and  _ snarled _ at her. “And do I get any thanks? Of course not. Everyone just sits back on their asses--which I saved--and pats themselves on the back for a job well done. I don’t get  _ shit _ in terms of recognition, and you guys are totally fine with that. You turn a blind eye and say, ‘Oh, he chose to be a hero. He chose to save us.’ Hell no. I didn’t choose to waste what little life I have left in order to make sure you pricks can keep living into your seventies! The only reason I’m still doing this, is because there are a few people in this godforsaken town that actually give a crap about me. I’m saving  _ them _ , not you. They’re the ones who I actually care about, the ones I risked my life for.” 

    After he finished his part, Danny took his hands off of Shelbi’s desk and began to walk out. Right before he opened the door, Shelbi regained her ability to speak. “You talk as if you're already dead.” 

    When Danny turned around to face her, Shelbi felt a chill run up her spine, and the room began to spin. Shelbi would swear to the end of her days that his eyes were  _ glowing  _ and  _ green _ . “I’m half-dead, technically, but I'm pretty sure I don't have too many years left. Why not finish the damn job while I still have a choice?”

\-----

    It seemed to be a normal day at Casper High. And by normal, everyone knew that meant an angry ghost was currently attacking the school and Danny Phantom was fighting them off. 

    The one difference that this day held was the fact that this ghost was being incredibly violent. Of course, though, no one knew this, as they were all still in class. The only one who knew of the ghost’s murderous intents was none other that Danny Fenton, who was also Danny Phantom, and who was currently in battle with said ghost. 

    This ghost didn’t seem to have a pure objective, but it did keep muttering, “I’m gonna kill ya,” over and over. It was becoming extremely annoying. 

    Not really in the mood for quips, Danny pulled out the Fenton Thermos and tried to suck the ghost into the container, but not before his attacker darted in and dug its claws into Danny’s abdomen, sending the both of them crashing into the side of the school. 

    Screeching like a banshee, Danny attempted to dislodge the ghost, but to no avail. By the time he actually got the thing off of him, the ghost had taken a good chunk out of his side, and it felt like  _ fucking shitty damned hell _ . 

    Danny sucked the ghost into the thermos and let the device drop to the ground along with his body as he felt his transformation give out. He had enough strength to ensure himself a safe landing before he crumpled into a pile on the grass. 

    Crowds of students were beginning to gather at the entrance to the school, as no ghost attack ever entitled a loud crash into the building. All they saw, though, was a curled-up Danny Fenton and a lone Fenton Thermos. 

    “Oi, Fenton? What’d you mess up this time?” Dash called out. Danny lifted his head, staring at his classmates, before he turned his attention to the thermos. He crawled over and hooked it on his belt before using a nearby tree to stand, struggling the entire way. His entire body was shaking, and drops of blood were beginning to fall onto the ground. 

    Danny’s smile didn’t look right as he faced his peers. It was equal parts cruel and self-deprecating. “That’s all you guys see when you look at me, isn’t it? All you see is a troublemaker, someone who had a good life and threw it away. Well, news flash: I didn’t throw away my life. It was  _ ripped _ away from me.” Danny coughed into his hand, and no one saw how it came away absolutely  _ covered _ with crimson blood. 

    “Daniel, end this drama and go to the office,” Mr. Lancer interrupted, face growing red with anger. “We’ll discuss your punishment there.” 

    Danny looked at him incredulously, shaking his head. “You’re not joking, are you?” 

    “Of course not. This has gone on far enough. We will definitely be making a call to your parents.” 

    Danny laughed--a hollow sound with no real humor in it--as he clutched at his side. “Go ahead. Might as well mention the fact that you’ve caught the thing that my parents have been wanting to kill for  _ ages _ .” 

    “And what’s that?” Mr. Lancer sighed, obviously done with all of Danny’s antics. 

    Danny’s smile grew sick and twisted, as if he was a completely different person. Mr. Lancer took a step away from him, scared of how the boy now looked. He looked downright  _ murderous _ . “Me, of course.” 

    His image rippled as two rings appeared and slowly encased his entire body, and when they were gone, he was  _ different _ . His outfit was the same, but his hair has been bleached to snow white in a matter of seconds, and his eyes were glowing green. Literally  _ glowing  _ green. His entire body was wrapped in an aura, the kind that sent shivers up your spine and made your mouth grow dry. The kind of aura the students of Casper High had begun to associate with the appearance of a ghost. Combine that with his appearance and the little clues that he had left everyone all day, and it was obvious who now stood before them. 

    Danny Phantom gave them a sad smile, one that showcased his teeth, which were painted with blood; blood that was now obviously flecked with green bits of ectoplasm. “Do you get it now? It doesn’t matter what ‘punishment’ you give me. It doesn’t matter what happens to me. It wouldn’t even matter if I were to drop dead tomorrow. I’ve been fucked since day one.” 

    No one spoke for a long time, until Danny’s eyes went impossibly wide. He gasped and lurched forward, pressing his hands against a crimson stain that was slowly growing on his shirt. 

    “Oh right,” he muttered. “That’s still there.” 

    Sam and Tucker rushed forward to flank Danny, holding him up between the two of them. Everyone else just stared at them, still trying to process what they saw, trying to understand that the weak, quiet nerd was actually the superhero all of them idolized. 

    “How bad is it?” Sam murmured softly. Danny lifted his shirt to reveal the injury, which almost everyone caught a glance of. Dash promptly leaned to the side and emptied the contents of his stomach while Star cried beside him. 

    The wound was worse than anything anyone had ever seen. There was a gaping hole in his side, one that was  _ pouring _ blood and what seemed to be ectoplasm. Everyone could see muscle and bone, and was something  _ beating _ ? Green and red quickly decorated the sidewalk and the clothing of his friends, but Sam and Tucker didn’t seem to mind. 

    In fact, they didn’t even seem phased by the sight of Danny’s ribs poking out of his side. What kind of things had they been exposed to if they weren't even phased at the sight of such a wound?

    “We gotta get this shirt off. Did either of you pack a sewing kit today?” Sam asked, looked towards Tucker and Jazz, who had finally shouldered her way through the crowd to get to her little brother. Both of them shook their heads, eyes focused and movements sure as they slowly stripped Danny of his shirt. No one had ever seen the four of them like this. 

    Looking at Danny without his shirt on was positively bone-chilling. Whom everyone had assumed to be a weak wimp, was actually a pretty fit guy. The muscles and eight-pack would be the strangest sight if said muscles and eight-pack weren’t  _ completely covered _ in scars. There were so,  _ so _ many scars. No one knew how he got them, nor where they came from, but everyone could tell that some of them had been serious wounds. 

    There was one that stood out in particular--it was the entire left side of his chest, which was slightly sunken in, and it looked to be entirely covered in grey scar tissue. The tissue was stretched and raw looking. No one wanted to know how he got that scar, but everyone wanted to know how they missed it, how they missed everything. 

    “It’s okay, guys,” Danny breathed, bracing himself on the arms of his friends. “It’s okay, it’s okay. Look, I’ve had this coming for a while now.” 

    “Danny, I’m gonna say this once, and you’re gonna listen to me,” Tucker announced. “Shut. Up.” 

    Danny chuckled, a gurgling sound coming from his throat instead of any infliction of humor in his words. The three humans continued to try and formulate some sort of plan to help Danny, but the halfa obviously wasn’t paying attention. He had fixed his intense stare on his classmates. No one could look him in the eyes without seeing the blood and ectoplasm, which immediately reminded them that the sixteen-year-old was fighting for his life. 

    Something shifted in his eyes, something that sent chills down the spines of everyone looking at him. The air around everyone changed. It became sort of  _ charged _ , like electricity. Sam, Tucker, and Jazz obviously knew what was happening, because they stopped talking and were now trying to stop Danny from doing something. 

    “Danny, I swear on the graves of every ghost that likes you, if you do this, I’m going to take your fucking ass to hell myself!” Sam hissed. 

    “Don’t be a shithead, Danny,” Tucker added. 

    “I will  _ not  _ hesitate to burn all of your damn belongings if you do this,” Jazz threatened. 

    If Danny heard them, he didn’t acknowledge it. He tipped his head back, opened his mouth, and let loose something that could only be classified as a  _ howl _ . It tore through the air like a knife, sending a thousand bullets into the hearts of everyone listening. It was blood-curdling, terrifying, and absolutely  _ feral _ . You’d be hard-pressed to convince anyone that Danny  _ wasn’t _ an animal. 

    The scream stopped abruptly, as if Danny didn’t have the strength to continue. He leaned over and coughed and coughed, spitting out clumps of blood and ectoplasm onto the tile floor. When he looked up again, his eyes had cleared, and he was truly smiling. “Sorry. I didn’t know any other way to get your attention. I need everyone here to listen to me.” Everyone unconsciously leaned in towards Danny, as if that would make them hear his words better. 

    The halfa took a deep breath before continuing. “I am  _ not _ a hero. I’m a mistake, a lab experiment that no-nobody commissioned. I’m a mutant…a coward. I’m a fucking  _ monster _ . Don’t look up to me…I don’t de-deserve that.” Danny hissed in pain and coughed, hacking up more blood than anyone thought was healthy. “Look…I never wanted to become this. If you ever thought that I wanted to be what I am, you’re wrong. Actually, I wanted to be an astronaut. But…I guess I j-just…ended up as a disappointment.” 

    With that, Danny disappeared. His body melted from view, and Sam and Tucker ended up grasping at air. 

    “Dammit, Danny,” Sam cursed, groping around for any sign of her friend. Tucker and Jazz joined her in their search, but it was futile. 

    Danny was using both his intangibility and invisibility. 

    He didn’t want to be found, nor did he want to be held. 

    Everyone knew in the pits of their hearts that the halfa was gone forever.

\-----

    They never did find Danny again. He was just…gone. No one knew if he had died, or if he had gone to the Ghost Zone, or what. 

    Maddie and Jack took the news hard, even harder when they learned of what Danny had become because of their mistakes. 

    Vlad just seemed to wither away. He died not even a year after Danny’s disappearance. 

    Danielle had heard of her big brother’s last words, and immediately began to study astronomy and astrophysics, if not for anything else than to feel closer to him. 

    No one at Casper High was the same either, especially the three closest to Danny. 

    Jazz  _ never _ spoke. Not even a word. She didn’t even write things down when she wanted to talk. It was as if she had forgotten how to make words. She was trapped in her own mind. 

    Tucker tried to create a device that would track Danny’s ectoplasmic signature, but all it got him was severe eye injuries due to malfunction of the technology. He ended up partially blind, and had to get a seeing-eye dog. After that, Tucker abandoned technology all-together. 

    Sam was the worst of them all. She cut off most of her hair, dyed what was left bright green, made too many homemade piercings to count, tattooed close to every inch of her body by herself, and left. She disappeared two months after Danny did, leaving behind only a note that read,  _ I’ll be okay, but I’m never coming back. _

    True to her word, she never did return. No one truly knows what happened to her to this day. Even if someone were to pass her on the street, no one would be able to reconcile her with that sarcastic goth girl who hunted ghosts with her two best friends. 

    The only thing Danny left behind, in the end, were two sentences, which were written on a couple of childhood drawings he had made. They were both decorated in spaceships and planets, stars and moons, space and astronauts. On the back of one, all it said was,  _ I wanted to be an astronaut, but I became a ghost hunter, but I guess, in the end, the hunter became the hunted.  _ The other one simply had his signature, which was morbidly written in his own blood. 

    Maddie and Jack framed the pictures, and then threw them into the Ghost Zone. 

    They never wanted to be reminded of their missing son again.

\-----

    Years and years later, a tall woman with flowing black hair and steely blue eyes laid in her bed, staring at her ceiling. She should be sleeping, considering what was going to happen tomorrow, but she couldn’t bring herself to close her eyes. Memories plagued her thoughts all night as she eventually drifted off into a fitful and restless sleep. In the morning, she got dressed for work and stuffed the pictures into her bag. 

    A short, peppy lady with a clipboard came up beside her, flashing her a smile. “Are you ready for the interview, miss?” 

    The woman nodded stoically. “Yes.” 

    The interview consisted of the typical questions--how did she think the flight was going to go, how prepared was she, and what exactly did this flight entail. However, the one question she wasn’t prepared for, as when someone asked her what her inspiration was for getting here. 

    She felt something squeeze her heart as an image flashed in her mind. It was of a teenage boy with white hair and a blinding smile. He was staring at the stars longingly. "Ya know, I've always wanted to be an astronaut. Sure, being half-ghost is kind of a setback, but I'll get there eventually. One day, I'm gonna fly among the stars." 

    Dani lifted her head and stared at the reporter, trying to hold the tears in her eyes at bay. “My big brother always wanted to become an astronaut, but something took him away from us when he was sixteen. I was fourteen at the time it happened. I decided right then and there, that if he wouldn’t be able to fly among the stars, I would. I’m making this flight for the both of us. One last trip with my big brother, before I let him go among the stars to sleep forever. It’s where a hero like him, truly belongs.”

\-----

**Author's Note:**

> I’M NOT AT ALL SORRY
> 
> So, after like tooth-rotting fluff, I’m back with my usual angst, and boy, is it dark. I honestly didn’t expect it to come out this angsty. My brain’s pretty messed up. But Danny Phantom is so easy to write angst for? Like, the actual show isn’t nearly as bad, but then the fandom is like that one creepy alleyway everyone knows to avoid. 
> 
> Anyway, this story is inspired by [this photo](https://www.pinterest.com/pin/439734351096882891/), if you couldn’t tell already. As soon as I saw it, the cogs started turning in my brain, and I knew I had to make a story out of it. I don’t know if there’s already a story out, but here’s my version.
> 
> Did anyone listen to the songs? If not, that’s cool, but I highly suggest you do listen to them. They add a lot of depth to the story when you can get a feel for themes. Each of the songs has an entirely different feel, and they both parallel the themes you’ll find in this story. Plus, they’re some of my favorite songs, so it doesn’t exactly hurt to promote them ;)
> 
> Thank you guys so much for reading this. Please leave comments if you loved it or hated it. I love reading all types of comments. They either make my day or show me ways to improve.
> 
> BookLover86, Out! ;)


End file.
